I freaking HATE HOA's

"HammerheadFistpunch" (hammerheadfistpunch) 04/22/2016 at 12:21 • Filed to: None

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Just got into a heated call with my HOA management company about a nasty letter accusing my tenants of some things which happened this week (many things, some of which aren’t actually in the rules) and threatening me with fines and recommending the neighbors call the police if they see it again. 5! people complained about these things all week! Called my renter, they’ve been out of town for 2 weeks and their place is locked up tight. Also, the complaints are for their 2 10 year girls behavior...they have one 6 year old girl. Their little girl is sweet, they always pay on time and their place is always clean...they are great renters. I am so sick of HOA bullying.

Xyl0c41n3 > HammerheadFistpunch 04/22/2016 at 12:25

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Join the HOA board. Beat them from the inside.

RyanFrew > HammerheadFistpunch 04/22/2016 at 12:26

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Sounds like a classic case of dissatisfaction with the mere fact that there are renters in the neighborhood.

itranthelasttimeiparkedit > HammerheadFistpunch 04/22/2016 at 12:26

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If they’re going that crazy, get them to put some of it in writing in case you have to lawyer up. When we rented out, I purposely got into it a little with the HOA up front so they knew I wasn’t going to take their shit. Our other house does not have an HOA, its great...

Land_Yacht_225 > HammerheadFistpunch 04/22/2016 at 12:28

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Preach. A HOA is simply a construct created in slightly above average neighborhoods to give the snobbiest of the snobs the opportunity to take up space on some kind of “board.”

In my neighborhood, we pay HOA fees every year for nothing. Literally nothing. We have no pool, no park, no common areas, nothing to maintain. But we pay HOA membership. For nothing. The jackass up on the hill just like to throw a party 4 times a year and make a big deal about resale values and inconsistent architecture in the recently built homes. Architecture. In the context of homes built by mass production builders who don’t even employ architects. With an average size of below 3,000 square feet.

Yeah. Useless snobs.

HammerheadFistpunch > Xyl0c41n3 04/22/2016 at 12:30

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I have a friend on the inside...he’s no help. I’ve been nominated but I don’t want any part of that. If these renters aren’t staying we’re selling this summer.

HammerheadFistpunch > RyanFrew 04/22/2016 at 12:31

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This 100%. Our elderly neighbor that acts sweet and which I’ve helped out DOZENS of times with fixes and such HATES that we have renters in there and always makes a stink about it.

HammerheadFistpunch > itranthelasttimeiparkedit 04/22/2016 at 12:32

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I told them that if they dare to fine me for anything going forward with anything but conjecture that there would be ramifications.

V12 Jake- Hittin' Switches > HammerheadFistpunch 04/22/2016 at 12:32

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I love not having a HOA. I have a dirt bike path and, snow permitting, a snowmobile track as well. I have a decrepit 32 foot boat sitting up the hill by my shop and no one to complain about it.

MUSASHI66 > HammerheadFistpunch 04/22/2016 at 12:33

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HOA....We pay through the nose in our properties. We just got hit with 3 special assessments in 3 of the properties - 2x for some sewers, 1 for roof, and it’ll cost us around $6000. Say bye bye to profits for a while.

TheHondaBro > HammerheadFistpunch 04/22/2016 at 12:35

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You’d better do what they say, otherwise the great trash monster will kill you in the middle of the night.

HammerheadFistpunch > Land_Yacht_225 04/22/2016 at 12:35

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in our case its an older community of town homes, and we have shared resources but their management and leadership structure is laughable. I’m not even joking when I say that the standards of the oppositelock moderatation crew...flawed as we are...is an order of magnitude more evidence based, reasonable and sensible compared to this lot. My friend and former neighbor is on the board currently and he wants out wholesale.

Bman76 (no it doesn't need a WS6 hood) M. Arch > Land_Yacht_225 04/22/2016 at 12:35

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“Your fake shutters don’t match my fake shutters”

People are dumb.

Signed,

Architecture Grad Student

HammerheadFistpunch > V12 Jake- Hittin' Switches 04/22/2016 at 12:36

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turns out my current neighborhood has CC&R’s too but no HOA, which is nice because it prevents people from adding another story to their home, blocking the views of the mountains...but nobody is over at my house checking my lawn height.

450X_FTW > HammerheadFistpunch 04/22/2016 at 12:37

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We have an HOA, the neighbor said if the rules are not apart of a city ordnance, state law, or federal law, there’s no legal action that can be taken

HammerheadFistpunch > TheHondaBro 04/22/2016 at 12:37

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I changed the bulb! I CHANGED IT!!!!

RyanFrew > HammerheadFistpunch 04/22/2016 at 12:37

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I live in a small subdivision of townhomes in Cincinnati. The head of the HOA lives 2 doors down and she makes a huge fuss about anyone who rents. Situated between her and us, there are two young women who rent, but are exceptionally good tenants. One week, they forgot to take their trash out, and ran out of space, so they put one bag of trash in our can and one in the HOA president’s. No biggie. If it bothered us, we would’ve voiced it to them, but who cares?

Shit you not, the HOA woman, who lives alone and whose trash was not full, pulled their bag out of her trash and left it in front of their garage with a note saying, “I have enough trash on my own, thank you”. They found it the following morning, after a raccoon had gotten to it and made a huge mess in their driveway.

Fucking unreal.

HammerheadFistpunch > 450X_FTW 04/22/2016 at 12:39

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They cite trespassing (into a commons pool area that is currently locked) and violation of the noise ordinance (city ord) but I fail to see how:

1. Its trespassing on property I own - violation of the rules? yeah...trespassing? nope.

2. They can claim to fine me for a city ordinance. Can they call the cops? yes. Can they fine me? no. There is no rule in the CC&R’s regarding noise.

MonkeePuzzle > HammerheadFistpunch 04/22/2016 at 12:39

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I for one am glad for my HOA. They seem to be a well balanced lot, charge an appropriate fee, keep our shared resources in good condition.

But most of all, and as jalops you’ll like this, the head HOA rep literally laughed out loud, then stifled her laughter and attempted a polite “that will NEVER happen” when one cranky “get of my dang lawn type” proposed a stop sign at every intersection, and a speed bump between each intersection.

RyanFrew > Land_Yacht_225 04/22/2016 at 12:39

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What happens if you don’t pay it?

Xyl0c41n3 > HammerheadFistpunch 04/22/2016 at 12:40

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HOAs are the literal worst. Good luck.

HammerheadFistpunch > RyanFrew 04/22/2016 at 12:41

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HOA’s represent a opportunity for people to hide behind a set of rules and suppress the better part of their human selves in the interest of strict adherence to a code. It doesn’t HAVE to happen like that, but it opens the door wide open.

450X_FTW > HammerheadFistpunch 04/22/2016 at 12:42

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noise violation is so subjective though, unless they have proof, it’ll never hold up.

HammerheadFistpunch > MonkeePuzzle 04/22/2016 at 12:42

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They do some okay administrative work, but they have no concept of how to manage violation in a reasonable manner.

Xyl0c41n3 > HammerheadFistpunch 04/22/2016 at 12:44

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Ahhhh... I love the smell of classism in the morning.

WTF? The property is owned (by you) by a responsible property owner and is inhabited (by your renters) by responsible and ideal neighbors. But, ewww, the poors! Too poor to buy the town home themselves, therefore they’re unworthy of mingling with the “legitimate” people in the neighborhood, amirite?

HammerheadFistpunch > 450X_FTW 04/22/2016 at 12:44

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That was the thrust of my argument with the management company on the phone.

“we don’t have on onsite presence so we have to take the word of the homeowners in order to asses fines”

“no, that’s conjecture and you ABSOLUTELY do not have to take their word, if you have no onsite presence its the onus of the homeowners to provide something substantive”

“well we got several complaints”

“So you want me to call you several times with made up information? I can do that?”

Life and Times of Magoo: The People's Champ > RyanFrew 04/22/2016 at 12:46

4

Fuck that lady. HOA’s are just a way for people who hate themselves to have some perceived power over others. Sad really.

HammerheadFistpunch > Xyl0c41n3 04/22/2016 at 12:46

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Thats the gist of it.

“renters bring down the value of this community!”

No, father time brought down the value of a small community of town homes that have seen better days.

Bryan doesn't drive a 1M > HammerheadFistpunch 04/22/2016 at 12:47

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My wife and I decided to go to an HOA meeting once because there had been some stuff going down and we wanted to see how it played out. Wow, I have never seen such a collection of fucking lunatics before in my life. There is no way I would ever go to another one of those meetings.

E92M3 > HammerheadFistpunch 04/22/2016 at 12:47

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I dislike HOA’s too. If there’s one thing they hate though, it’s renters. “Oh god, a rental...there goes the neighborhood”. A lot of neighborhoods now have covenants that only a certain percentage of the houses can be rented. I understand the reasoning for a HOA, but people tend to get power trips and go overboard. I had a townhouse once, and was going to rent it after I moved. I found out I would be 12th on the waiting list to rent it out, and that could take 2-3 years. I ended up dumping it, and selling it for a lot less than I paid for it. The rule that was supposed to protect the home values, actually hurt them, causing each seller to undercut the others lowering their price to be the cheapest home available.

450X_FTW > HammerheadFistpunch 04/22/2016 at 12:47

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Time to go Wayne Brady on them.......

(cue the Damn It Feels Good To Be A Gangsta music)

jariten1781 > HammerheadFistpunch 04/22/2016 at 12:48

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Join the board...the one (and only hopefully) time I was living in an HOA I got together with a bunch of the other owners who hated the leadership and we took a spot via sheer mass then rotated it amongst us. It was actually fairly easy to inject common sense...all the you can't prune that tree, your fence is .5 inches too high, your 4 door short bed luxo truck counts as a work vehicle, that paint is slightly off in hue, etc. nonsense was squashed out fairly quickly. Couldn't actually block anything but by making the meetings last 45 hours it screwed up bridge night or whatever and relatively quickly they just stopped bringing them up.

jimz > RyanFrew 04/22/2016 at 12:54

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AFAIK they can attach a lien on the property if the covenant/contract says they can.

jimz > HammerheadFistpunch 04/22/2016 at 12:54

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sigh....

old white people.

vicali > HammerheadFistpunch 04/22/2016 at 12:58

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Straight-pipe time!

DrJohannVegas > HammerheadFistpunch 04/22/2016 at 13:03

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Fun fact, you can sue your own HOA. If you want maximum lulz, it’s great.

HammerheadFistpunch > E92M3 04/22/2016 at 13:03

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its this way in ours, but we’ve been renting long before most units started doing the same and we lived there before hand so we were a part of the community for years. We still go to the meets, and before you ask NO, its not a significant cost savings to do without basic cable.

Dru > HammerheadFistpunch 04/22/2016 at 13:04

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Our neighborhood is about 3 years old, and we have a modest HOA. Basically I pay $300/year for street lights and lawn maintenance on the .1 acre of common area. It started out gung ho and anyone who had a fence that didn’t conform was going to feel hell’s wrath from retirees who didn’t have much else to do. They once placed typed letters on my door and the doors of all adjacent houses about dogs being loose without leashes. We have three indoor cats and zero dogs. As time has worn on, these older folks have realized how much work it is to impose fines for these infractions and have lost their edge. Kind of nice, kind of not. It’s an area densely populated by retirees or homes owned but not primary residences. Two of my immediately adjacent neighbors do not live at the houses full time, nor do they rent, so they are there maybe once a quarter. One of them has let weeds grow through their driveway with nary a peep from the HOA. Kind of grinds my gears.

V12 Jake- Hittin' Switches > HammerheadFistpunch 04/22/2016 at 13:04

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I couldn't deal with that

CalzoneGolem > HammerheadFistpunch 04/22/2016 at 13:09

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Call to compliment on how quiet they are that’ll nullify the noise complaints.

ADabOfOppo; Gone Plaid (Instructables Can Be Confusable) > RyanFrew 04/22/2016 at 13:10

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So let’s think this one through.

Crazy Old Lady Dumbass (Henceforth COLD) could have just let it go, allowed the trash to be picked up like normal and nothing would have happened.

Instead COLD digs in HER OWN TRASH, litters on another owner’s property, and creates a huge mess, all to ‘teach those people a lesson’ I assume.

Talk about cutting off one’s nose to spite one’s face. I would also bet that had the renters asked first, COLD would have still said go fuck yourselves.

Fuck her.

TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. > HammerheadFistpunch 04/22/2016 at 13:11

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Being in the same situation as you with renters and HOA boards, I have come to the conclusion that members of HOA boards are just people who are too stupid and/or useless to acquire any real authority in the adult world so they join the HOA board. The only reason they actually get onto the board is because they’re the only people who apply to join, the rest of us have better things to do with our lives.

RyanFrew > ADabOfOppo; Gone Plaid (Instructables Can Be Confusable) 04/22/2016 at 13:14

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I think you’re probably right about what would have happened if they asked first. This same woman has also complained about my house because we “shake her house” when me and my buddies lift weights and because I keep a ‘15 SeaDoo in my garage. She tried to argue that only cars are permitted in our garages. Of course, that didn’t get far.

HammerheadFistpunch > DrJohannVegas 04/22/2016 at 13:16

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yeah, people have...its always in the back pocket

415s30 W123TSXWaggoIIIIIIo ( •_•))°) > HammerheadFistpunch 04/22/2016 at 13:17

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Don’t get me started... they hated my Z, we have guest spaces that everyone uses because we only get on assigned space. Of course boring cars are ignored, they went to war on me and posted notices all over my car cover. I got a space at a near by storage place with auto storage. I would kill for a private place with a garage and even a small back yard so the dogs can go out on their own. They almost brought the full force of Marine Corps training upon themselves.... fuckers

AfromanGTO > HammerheadFistpunch 04/22/2016 at 13:17

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Fuck HOAs!

marshknute > HammerheadFistpunch 04/22/2016 at 13:18

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My friend was recently told by his HOA that he had to keep his car garaged at all times because it was “of a color/nature that did not conform to the standards of the neighborhood.”

CalzoneGolem > HammerheadFistpunch 04/22/2016 at 13:27

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Yikes and that includes For Sweden.

jimz > Bryan doesn't drive a 1M 04/22/2016 at 13:27

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what I’ve found with a lot of people is that the amount of power they have is inversely proportional to how much they want to wield that power.

jimz > marshknute 04/22/2016 at 13:27

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old people. I hope I never reach a point in my life where I demand the world around me be sanitized and silent.

jvirgs drives a Subaru > 450X_FTW 04/22/2016 at 13:35

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“Is Wayne Brady gonna have to choke a bitch?"

HammerheadFistpunch > CalzoneGolem 04/22/2016 at 13:44

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i know right?!

HammerheadFistpunch > V12 Jake- Hittin' Switches 04/22/2016 at 13:46

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it rarely shows its head, only once that I’ve even heard of.

BKosher84 > HammerheadFistpunch 04/22/2016 at 13:50

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I will never, ever, ever, ever live in an area with an HOA.. EVER. HOA’s are probably the worst thing to ever happen to home ownership.

BKosher84 > ADabOfOppo; Gone Plaid (Instructables Can Be Confusable) 04/22/2016 at 13:57

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And then I bet she tried to fine them for having trash out.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > HammerheadFistpunch 04/22/2016 at 14:01

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My wife wants to get an investment property (rental) and I really don’t. It sounds like a big source of stress, also, twice the neighbors when you think about it. NO.

Rico > HammerheadFistpunch 04/22/2016 at 14:04

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Stop helping. I wouldn’t give a shit.

BKosher84 > HammerheadFistpunch 04/22/2016 at 14:05

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HOA’s may be bad.. But so are people in general. This past January our newly elected Mayor instituted a “culling of deer” in our little 4 Square Mile suburb of Cleveland, because well.. When you regularly see eight(!!!!) deer in your yard multiple times a week.. It’s time for some killin’.

The local tree huggers caught wind of this.. And OH BOY did they cause a ruckus. They protested at EVERY. SINGLE. Counsel Meeting up until this month (when the city stopped culling after bagging 15 deer out of the supposed 80 in the area). The leader of the deer humping pack is a crazed vegan lunatic that “VOWED TO RECALL THE MAYOR!!!!!11!?!!!” (Let’s not change the fact that she lives in the town over....). They even protested outside City Hall on Saturdays for some odd reason.. Then did a BLM type protest march to the Mayors house.. When he wasn’t even home that weekend.

It was laughably pathetic, lol.

HammerheadFistpunch > Rico 04/22/2016 at 14:10

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fines come to me, then I have to hound them to pay...no thanks.

ADabOfOppo; Gone Plaid (Instructables Can Be Confusable) > RyanFrew 04/22/2016 at 14:14

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What a bitch.

Rico > HammerheadFistpunch 04/22/2016 at 14:16

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She’s likely one of the people complaining about your renters and causing you this grief to begin with.

Also if your tenants haven’t been around for 2 weeks can’t you use that as proof it’s someone else?

HammerheadFistpunch > Rico 04/22/2016 at 14:19

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Sorry I misunderstood your comment, Yeah I don’t live there anymore so we don’t really help her out all that much, but I did a lot when I lived there. As for the other issues, they’ve dropped them as they realize that its literally my word against theirs and they have no case against me. I was raging on them pretty hard though for this “shoot first ask questions later” approach.

Elumerere > HammerheadFistpunch 04/22/2016 at 14:29

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“The banality of evil”, pretty much.

Highlander-Datsuns are Forever > HammerheadFistpunch 04/22/2016 at 15:33

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I rented a house in an HOA, one day the fence blew down, imagine that in Gardnerville Nevada. Anyway, that day I called the rental agency and told them that the fence blew down and they would have to fix it. 2 weeks later I get a letter warning of a fine from the HOA because I hadn’t fixed the fence. I just forwarded the letter to the rental agency. 3 days later the fence was fixed.

In general I hate HOA’s, I live in the country and shoot guns in my yard.

Highlander-Datsuns are Forever > 450X_FTW 04/22/2016 at 15:35

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Right, but you sign a covenent when you buy the property that states that you agree to the HOA fees and rules so it doesn’t really work that way (the covenent is legally enforceable in civil court I think...)

450X_FTW > Highlander-Datsuns are Forever 04/22/2016 at 16:05

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Unless that document says what the fines will be, how would it be determined what the punishment is?

E92M3 > HammerheadFistpunch 04/22/2016 at 22:51

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At this one if you finally were able to rent, and a lease ended you had 30 days to sign a new tenant/lease, or you would be put at the bottom of the list, and the next in line got their chance. I should of done it anyway, and just said I was letting a family member live in it for free.

gmporschenut also a fan of hondas > HammerheadFistpunch 04/24/2016 at 01:39

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A HOA formed around, what was a rural area that relative lives at. Two neighbors had the nerve to come over and ask if the piles of brush in the woods could be cleaned up. I’ll repeat that. Could the piles of brush in the woods be picked up.

funny one had their house foreclosed on and was trying to panic sell. Lesson don’t drop crazy coin in 2006 expecting your vacation home to appreciate.